If People Looked Up At The Stars Each Night...

It’s been five months since I left home to make my way through Southeast Asia. In this time, I have redirected the compass and let my experiences take hold, embracing the direction of a new perspective. Since it is both the new year and I am somehow another year older, I thought it timely to share a few of my favorite takeaways…

1. Chinese

2. Indian

3. Pizza

4. Thai

I kid, I kid. :) I genuinely want to share some insights I have come to learn during my travels.

Exploration leads to some answers, but it also just leads to a lot more exploration.

A big reason I wanted to make it a year of traveling was to allow for time. Time to figure out what it was I wanted to do with the next chapter of my life. Some things have already solidified in me. For instance, Tristan and I both want to make sure we travel long-term again, even if in smaller doses. These months have humbled our minds, brought us even closer together, and made it clear just how big and fascinating a world we live in. The list of places we want to explore someday seems endless, but knowing there is more to explore makes us feel alive. As my favorite Pixar movie, UP, would say, “Adventure is out there!”. Indeed, it is. While traveling, I have been an online teacher and freelance writer. This lifestyle earns good money, feels quite comfortable, and some days I think I could do it forever. Still, however beautiful the balance between work and play, I know I will eventually need to do something more impactful. Knowing this has led me to delve into research on social-emotional learning and the nonprofit sector. Over the course of a month, I have bookmarked over thirty different organizations; all of which make a positive impact on our youth in some way. They range from creative maker-spaces to young women-empowerment programs, and they all excite me. Then there are the days when I want to take on an entirely new challenge. To scratch this itch, I enrolled myself in a narrative game design course through Cal Arts, and it feels nice to be a student again. This choice came from playing the game Life Is Strange and falling in love with it. I was intrigued to explore the world of narrative-based gameplay, in particular, one that appeals to women, as there are so few games that aim to do that. So far, I have enjoyed applying my love of stories in a new platform.

What I’ve taken away is that the more I dig into my possibilities, the more possibilities will arise. And that’s okay. I made a choice to leave last August, and that was a big decision. From there, I’ve continually made smaller decisions, allowing my life to take me different places and dabble in beautiful things. For a change, my husband has a very clear dream he wants to pursue when we come home, and I am in a good place to support and go along with it. What do I mean by a good place? Allowing myself to embrace my explorations without quite knowing where they will lead gives me a sense of freedom; it says ‘This is my life, and I can let it go whichever way I please.’ As long as I continually make choices, no matter how big or small, I am engaging in that freedom. I choose to be happy. I choose to love and be loved. And I choose to surround myself with things that will only enhance that. If those are the basis of my decisions, I don’t need to know how everything is going to play out. As the heartfelt memoir, Love Warrior, best puts it “Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside, beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.” I can say for sure that no matter how uncertain the direction of my life seems to be, it is most definitely beautiful.

Travel makes you appreciate the relationships in your life.

In my travels, I have met so many amazing people, and in those encounters, we have gone through the motions of getting to know one another. After some time, we break the new person politeness, and it starts to feel as if we are old friends. It fills me with joy to think about how small my world has become since traveling, knowing that I have friends in so many different places. Meeting new people also reminds me how much I miss and love my friends and family back home. Mostly, how lucky I am to have such great people in my life. Traveling, even with your partner, can be therapeutic for the soul, but also a bit lonely. As much as I am defined by my choices, I am just as much defined by my relationships. The things I needed to change in my life were solely about me and my struggles. The things that make life easier (and in some ways hard to change) are the people in my life. Why? Because they do such a good job of loving me. Being away from my people has made me more appreciative and aware of how important it is to stay connected with the ones I love. however far away. People are social creatures and it's one of the greatest gifts we have; being able to share laughs, share important moments, and share beers...Ultimately, it’s really about sharing your life and knowing that you are never truly alone.

Live it up every damn day.

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.”

-Calvin and Hobbes

It’s funny how much we, humans, love routine. It makes sense. We work on a week system where there is an agreed upon weekend. Our careers allocate time slots, and we plan our days accordingly. In the past, I found myself saying things like “Ah, three days till the weekend!” so often. It makes me sad that I ever felt that way. Since traveling, I don’t really know what day it is. This is not to say that I am vacationing all the time. During these months I have worked a lot. The thing that has changed is how I view time. I no longer look at my work as the defining factor of my day. I make it a point to fill my days with other activities that I know will bring me satisfaction and joy. Sometimes it’s yoga and the beach. Sometimes it’s doing something new, like seeing a temple or visiting a museum. Sometimes it’s as simple as sitting in a cafe, devouring novels and writing for fun. Whatever it is, I prioritize myself and my happiness. Doing these steps makes each day feel wholesome and wonderful. On the other side of this world, the moon I see shines at a different angle and my mind sheds light on a new perspective; one that makes it a priority to tell my partner I love him every single day. One that encourages me to step out of my comfort zone. One that reminds me it's okay to act like a kid every once in a while. Every night Tristan and I go for a lazy stroll through our neighborhood and bring treats to feed the stray cats and dogs. We take our time, admiring the stars, noticing new things about our street, and following the smells of food to make a decision on dinner. Time can feel beautifully irrelevant if you let it be.

Document It

This insight is simple. Take time to document your life, and not just by pictures, but by words. We live in a world where we take so many pictures in our daily lives that they become meaningless. This is not to say that pictures aren’t important; they can be, however they only give a slither of the story. One’s words capture what an image cannot; thoughts, feelings...who you were in that moment of time. I did a lot of journaling as a child, and I am so grateful to look back at my former self. Some parts make me cringe (the middle school ego is horrifying) while others flood me with tears, looking at the words of a former self who felt so much joy, and pain, and fearlessness. Those words, no matter how distant they feel, are layered under the person I am today. Since traveling, I have made it a point to document my journey. Not just in a way that tells future me where to get the best coffee, but rather in a way that will remind me of who I was at this point in my life. I mark my thoughts so that in many years to come I can transport myself back to this place and relive it all again. Document your moments, however insignificant. They may not matter to most, but they matter to you, and that is all that really matters.

#travel #reflection #change #career #love