My American Dream

All my life I have had a somewhat clear plan, and for a long time I never really questioned it. Just like everyone else I knew, I was to go to school, earn good grades, attend college, and then land a solid job. Just like everyone I knew, I did precisely that. My years at university were amazing, and I value the friendships I made as well as the education I received. During my first year of university, I decided I wanted to become a teacher. I have always loved working with kids, and I knew I was someone that liked to make a direct impact, so teaching seemed like a perfect fit. A month after graduation, I got my first job and continued to teach over the past four years. In the midst of those years between college and teaching, I met my loving husband, Tristan. Our story involved an international relationship, years of long distance, visa applications, and finally his move to the United States. By the end of last year, my life looked pretty damn good on paper. Even so, I felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing.

Recognizing a need for change is a terrifying feeling. ​

It is so easy to turn off that little voice in your head that says “Is this it?”. I get overwhelmed thinking about all the places I want to go, the skills I want to learn, and things I want to do for myself. Ease of life, as ironic as it sounds, can get in the way of happiness. I have never in my life felt more lost than I do right now, which is hilarious because I am more stable and secure than I have ever been. I should note here that by no means am I ungrateful for the cards I've been dealt. I am fully aware and appreciative for my upbringing and the vast opportunities I've been given. The tragic reality is that there are still parts in America where people must work their whole lives just to make ends meet.

I am here to address the greater part of modern society who can do otherwise. Decades ago, our nation was reliant on a strong economy to fund our wars. Work was necessary and contributing to the perseverance of our nation was applauded. By 1951, there was a thriving economy and therefore the middle class formed. The American Dream was defined by the presentation of wealth. You were to have the perfect house on the perfect green lawn. Materialism consumed people and it became the foundation of success.

Now back to present day. We are at a point where technically the possibilities are endless. Universities offer thousands of courses. The internet has connected people on a global level, creating a platform for collaboration and communication. There is funding for the strategists and solution seekers, support for the arts, community for the creatives, and opportunity for the dreamers. We live in a society where the American Dream should thrive. And yet it doesn't. The desired, symbolic pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow is still quite literally the pot of gold. The freedom of choice does not mirror it's reality. Many people still choose the path of stability. Careers are not for passion, but for income. The consumption of good food, fine clothes, and nice cars still define success, which for many defines happiness.

Younger generations are beginning to break this cycle by questioning these values. So that is what I am doing. Questioning. At least for me, I am coming to terms with my own value of success. I know I want to create, challenge myself, and do something that will leave a positive mark on the world. I know I want to have a more global understanding of other cultures. Most importantly, I know I want to live a life that centers around the love and goodness of people. I am aware that for me to push myself toward the life I want, I need to start with a small change. So, my husband and I decided to move to Southeast Asia for the year.

When we told people about our plans, we were met with lots of Oohs and Ahhs. People were excited and happy for us! We heard responses such as "That's so you guys" and "Oh my, for a year! What are you going to do for money? What is your plan after?". The fear of uncertainty is one that truly makes an impact on so many people. The decision for me to go on this trip was founded on uncertainty. Yes, we saved money. Yes, we read up on travel blogs and made notes of a rough plan. But the plan for after? We don't know, and I am coming to terms with that.

For some time, I let my anxiety drive my decision making, pushing away any thought of moving, quitting, or even writing a blog. There is a small chance I come back to the States and have no job, or perhaps I go back to teaching. There is a chance I start my own vision, and it completely fails. There is a chance I move far away from my home and hate my new environment. But, there is always that chance. Over time, I learned to let that anxiety go. What I hope is that by giving myself time away from my norm I will be more open to making significant changes in my life. People have noted, "Can't you just do it from where you are now?". Clearly not. To leave it all is to plunge into the deep end and the goal is to keep on swimming. I am doing just that.

Despite the narrative that we are continually told in our stories, one of maverick heroes taking chances and achieving the American Dream, there are far more persistent voices in our daily lives urging us to fear uncertainty and to stick to the plan. I disagree. It is okay to be uncertain. Uncertainty creates the desire for a fresh direction. One that feeds a longing soul and keeps life interesting. That is my American Dream.

#lifestyle #change #America